what intangible or tangible object (like a small plant peeking out from an old tree root or the breath of silence on the sidewalk) rekindles an experience? (1)
chatGPT Summary: Kay reflects on how memories are stored and accessed, likening them to a coiled Rolodex in a library card catalogue drawer, and explores the generation of a visual representation of this metaphor using AI.
Vancouver, on the traditional lands of the hən̓q̓əmin̓əm̓ (Hunquminum), and Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish) sníchim speaking peoples – When I asked myself this question, I was confronted with the image of an old 80s rolodex. Someone has asked me to do something, and so my finger fly through the circular catalogue of cards that represent my memories. Even as I spin and flip through the cards, I never come back to the first card in the cycle, and my brain shifts to an extremely long card catalogue drawer. My brain shifts suddenly, and now my arm is very long, flipping through the cards while I stand in tweed, holding the drawer’s front.
I am of an age where card catalogues were still heavily in use. My conjured image expands to a room filled with many drawers with more shelves added with each year. As I pulled open a new drawer to look in, the two card concepts collide and now the drawer bed curls on itself, the cards still stuck along the drawer’s rails by softly intended paper claws. I no longer need a comically long drawer or stretchy arms — I can flip through these and pluck one out at random or after a quick search, and find a particular card that holds the key to a moment or feeling.
I hold a plucked memory between my pinched fingers and ask myself how I got here. The library, the card catalogue, and the neverending wheel of paper all fade, and I am left behind. I wanted to find a trigger or common thing that sent me searching for a memory, but instead, I find that I am always walking my card catalogue. I don’t linger in the drawers or look longingly as any one memory in particular, but without much thought, I am here. As I live and do and act, I add cards or seek cards, but I don’t need external stimuli. I am here. Does anyone ever leave their memory vault? Even when we struggle to find the exact physical card, or when the object the card has catalogued is misfiled, it’s still in there. It’s still somewhere in the library.
For me, what rekindles a memory? The act of searching for it. The query. The need.
I don’t think I’m ever very far from my memories and it’s easy for me to call them up. This is an interesting thing to consider as I really do try and live in the present, but I readily pull from my experiences as a storyteller and gallery technician, hoarding and storing experiences all the time in order to put them to work on the next thing.
Image generation
The idea I described above is very clear in my mind.
Curious if chatGPT could generate something that matches that imagined picture, I scribbled a quick draft, and then asked:
[Kay: ] Could you generate a picture of a library card catalogue drawer, filled with catalogue cards that curls in on itself like a rolodex?
[chatGTP: ] Here is the generated image of a library card catalogue drawer filled with catalogue cards that curl in on themselves like a Rolodex.
Image description: a wall of card catalogue drawers moving into infinity, the numbers of the drawers not completely clear and fudged with some numbers just half stamped images of numbers, overlapping and unclear. One drawer is open and a coil of cards loops on itself, like a coil of tickets, horizontal and not fitting in the drawer, overlapping the drawers sides and making the image read as clearly computer generated. Image generated by chatGPT 4o from a prompt, July 2nd, 2024
Image description: a thick, uniformed lined sketch in black marker of an isolated card drawer initially flat and following perspective for 4-5 cards before curling in on itself creating a captial letter P shape or a line that inflates into a semicircle.
My scribble, while quite a bit more crude, aligns more accurately to how I see the catalogue cards, hinged together at the base and set into the tracks within the drawer. However, I could never draw a wall of never-ending drawers, even with the muddy numbers, in the time the AI could generate them and it would require me to use a lot of rulers to get the perspective right. Also, my mind is always rendering and is free from reality and so the drawer is able to curl upon itself while I focus on it, and then easily uncurl to return to its closed position without much thought.
Technology note:
I continue to test the use of AI within my writing and artistic practice. I used chatGPT to create an image from a text prompt and to create a summary for this blog, and Grammarly to assist me in spelling and grammar.
